Thursday 29 November 2012

All the things they said

(Or: if your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough)


August. A beer garden, halfway between Camden and Kentish Town, the inky blue almost-darkness shifting to soft orange light as outdoor heating slowly turned itself off then on. A burger, with strawberry jam, a raucous birthday group behind us. Everything I've ever done that at first scared me, that I wasn't sure about doing, ultimately ended up being the best things. These same words, said again, another day, another week, at 2am in the rain, the decision already made, but still, it is a reaffirmation, and reassures, because I know the same is true for me.



My kitchen, strip lighting, scraggly basil plants hanging on from summer. Hands damp from washing up, turning to grab a tea-towel. The post Japan jet-lag still prickling behind my eyelids. I think everyone has an adventure in their lives, and this could just be yours.

At work, in a bare meeting room, with my line manager, creaky chair. Notebook in hand, pen poised, and then realising there isn't any need to write. I find you regret the things in life which you don't do, far more than the things you do. Well that I know is true, from hard experience.

An email, picked up on my phone on a bright Wednesday morning in September, walking to work, leaves turning, air cooler and crisper than I've felt in weeks. I haven't regretted it for a second.

All these things, written, spoken, and from them a decision, a decision which was my gut feeling all along, but just needed coaxing.

In the new year, I'm moving overseas with work, to Africa. I'm a little bit scared about how big a step this is, a little bit daunted by all I have to do between now and then, but the overriding feeling is a brilliant, delicious excitement.


19 comments:

  1. Oh wow. Exciting news, beautifully written!

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  2. Becky! Wow! And how exciting, and you are brave, and HURRAH!

    Beautiful post.

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    1. Thank you! Yes, feeling quite 'hurrah' about it, but also lots of nerves!

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  3. Incredible news. What an adventure! So beautiful, as always. Xx

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    1. Thank you! Read your recent autumn post - was lovely.

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  4. This is very exciting and a big change. Wishing you all the best.

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    1. Thank you! I'm never great with change, but it usually does end up being a good thing.

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  5. Oh wow! I agree with Kate, beautiful! Hope you can keep blogging from there too. Amazing opportunity Becky x

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    1. Thank Lynne! Yes, hoping I can keep blogging too, fingers crossed for decent internet connections!

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  6. Totally amazing. What kind of work gets you to Africa? I want to train in it immediately!

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    1. Ha, I work in development. Very excited to be going!

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  7. Wow what a wonderful adventure you have coming up, I spent 6 weeks in Africa and had a amazing time.

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    1. Thank you! Yes, hoping it will be an adventure.

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  8. Becky, that is brilliant news. You definitely won't regret. No matter how scary it is, or challenging, you will have an incredible experience.

    x

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    1. Thank you! I always found your travel posts very inspiring! x

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  9. Dearest one, what a lovely post, am so excited for you xxx

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  10. ah ah ah!!!! wow! oh my! so so exciting! Hurray! and pleeeeeeeeeease keep blogging, I love your writing so much! (so many exclamations!)
    Hannah x

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  11. Oh my goodness, I've just read this post. Such amazing news and absolutely yes to having an adventure. Such a lovely post - its just how I've been feeling the last year or so. Sometimes you just need to take the plunge. Look forward to reading about your adventures. It's a brave step but they are always the best ones. Lara xx

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